When parenting time gets missed, it rarely feels like a small issue. A lost weekend or skipped midweek visit can disrupt a child’s routine, strain trust between parents, and trigger arguments that quickly spiral into bigger custody conflicts. Many parents assume that make-up parenting time is automatic—if a visit was missed, the other parent “has to” give it back. In California, it can be allowed, but it is not always simple, and it usually depends on what the court order says and why the time was missed.
The best approach is to treat make-up time as a child-centered solution, not a punishment tool. Courts and mediators generally want practical plans that protect the child’s stability while still honoring each parent’s time. If you need help enforcing an order, responding to repeated missed visits, or building a clear agreement, Contreras Law Firm can help you understand what options may fit your situation and how to document parenting-time issues the right way.
What “Make-up Parenting Time” Actually Means
Make-up parenting time is extra time a parent can have with their child if they missed a visit. This helps the child stay close to both parents and keeps things fair. Parents usually talk about this time together or get help from someone else, instead of asking a judge right away.
Make-up time isn’t always guaranteed. Some agreements have rules about missed visits, while others do not. If there are no rules, getting make-up time depends on how well the parents can work together and if they can explain what happened.
When Make-up Parenting Time Is Commonly Allowed
Make-up time for visiting kids is allowed when one parent messes up the other parent’s time. If a parent often says no to visits, cancels for no good reason, or makes it hard to see the child, a judge may allow make-up time.
Even if a missed visit isn’t anyone’s fault, like if someone gets sick or has an emergency, courts can still think about make-up time. But they want to make sure it’s good for the child. If a plan makes things too confusing for the child, the judge might not allow it.
When Make-up Time May Not Be Granted
If a parent missed their own parenting time due to their choices—such as not showing up, arriving extremely late, or repeatedly canceling—make-up time may be denied. Courts generally do not reward unreliable behavior. If a parent routinely misses time and then demands extra days later, it can look more like control than genuine parenting.
Make-up time may also be limited if it would disrupt the child’s stability. For example, if the child has school, therapy, or activities that would be affected, a judge may refuse a make-up schedule that causes more harm than benefit. Courts often prefer solutions that maintain routines, especially for younger children or children who struggle with transitions.
Intent Matters: Interference vs. Miscommunication
Many arguments about visiting kids happen because of misunderstandings. One parent might say the other didn’t allow a visit, while the other thinks it was just a mix-up about when or where to meet.
It’s really important for parents to talk clearly and keep each other updated. Writing things down can help, too. Sending messages about visit times, any delays, or new plans can show that a parent is trying to be fair. A calm parent who focuses on the kids and finds solutions usually seems more trustworthy than one who gets upset and doesn’t explain things clearly.
How Make-up Parenting Time Is Typically Calculated
There’s no one way to decide how to make up for missed visits. If a parent missed a visit for a few hours, they might just do another visit for the same time. If they missed a whole weekend, they could make it up by spending another weekend together, or adding extra days during a school break.
It helps when plans for make-up visits are clear and easy to understand. Instead of saying, “You’ll get more time later,” it’s better to have specific details. This means stating exactly when the make-up visit will take place and where to meet. Having a clear plan can help avoid arguments later.
Where Make-up Time Usually Fits Best In A Schedule
Make-up time is best during school breaks, long weekends, or holidays because it’s easier to plan. If parents live close, they can add extra sleepovers or make weekends longer. If they live far apart, they might need longer visits to make the travel worthwhile.
A child’s age is important. Younger kids usually like short visits, while older kids can handle longer ones. A good plan should consider schoolwork, bedtime, and activities, making sure the child feels comfortable rather than sticking to a strict schedule.
What To Do If The Other Parent Refuses Make-up Time
When make-up time is denied, the most helpful approach is usually calm, consistent, and well-documented. Courts tend to respond best to parents who stay child-focused, communicate clearly, and follow the proper process instead of escalating conflict.
- Start with thorough documentation: Track the missed parenting time, the date and time it happened, and what the order required.
- Record your efforts to exercise the visit: Note when you showed up (or were available), what occurred, and any messages exchanged.
- Propose specific make-up options in writing: Offer clear rescheduling choices (dates/times) rather than vague requests.
- Keep communication written and neutral: Use texts or email when possible, avoid emotional language, and stick to facts.
- Use child-focused wording: For example: “I’d like to make up the missed time so our schedule stays consistent for them.”
- Watch for a pattern of refusal: Repeated interference matters more than a one-off conflict, so keep your records organized over time.
- Consider mediation if the issue continues: Mediation is often the next step, and some courts require it before you can file certain motions.
- If mediation fails, consider court remedies: A parent may ask the court for enforcement, clarification of the order, or other appropriate relief.
- Understand the broader custody impact: Ongoing interference can lead courts to consider schedule changes if it suggests one parent isn’t supporting the child’s relationship with the other parent.
How To Prevent Repeat Problems With Clear Parenting Time Rules
To avoid fights, it helps to have clear rules for sharing time with kids. This includes telling each other if you need to change plans, how late you can be, and how to make up missed time. It can also say where to meet to pick up the kids.
If plans keep going wrong, think about changing the schedule instead of arguing about missed time. Courts want plans that work well for everyone. Making a new plan that fits the kids’ needs can help everyone get along better.
